Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

Rafael Palmeirocchio and Curt "ketchup socks" Schilling

Its news to nobody by now that Baltimore Orioles slugger Rafael Palmeiro has tested positive for using steroids. Whether or not you believe his claim that he took the steroid in question by accident (I do not), there is no doubt that he now looks like one of the stupidest, most arrogant idiots in the history of professional sports.

Months ago at the same congressional hearing that turned Mark (the mountain) McGwire into a blubbering pile of “pleading the fifth”, Rafy (as he is known by his fans and ironic detractors) sat there, incredulous that he was even called to testify. Reading from a prepared statement, which he’s by now become expert at, Rafy jabbed his fingers at members of Congress and expressed his emphatic denial. He used words like “never”, “ever”, “cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die”, “stick-a-needle-in-my-eye”, “step-on-a-crack-break-your-mamma’s-back” and now looks all the more foolish for it. His family, fans and friends now have to call into question every promise, vow and statement he’s ever made in his life.

And here you have baseball writers saying they will STILL vote him into the Hall of Fame at Cooperstown. Are you freaking kidding me? Cooperstown has always been the most prestigious, respected and exclusive club in all of sports. I have no problem with Lawrence (coke on Sundays) Taylor being in Canton, not only for his accomplishments, but for the fact that the NFL Hall is more lenient and less hallowed than the MLB Hall of Fame.

Rafy-gate is even more ironic and distressing coming on the heels of the Cooperstown inductions of Wade Boggs and Ryne Sandberg. I watched ESPN’s coverage of their enshrinement and Sandberg’s speech may well have been directed right at Rafy and the League’s current crop of overpaid, over-hyped and over-muscled boy’s of summer. He punctuated his speech with the word "RESPECT", and I’d be lying if I said his speech, along with Boggs’ and ESPN’s Peter Gammons’ (also enshrined) did not bring tears to my eyes. I’ve also cried watching “Field of Dreams” a movie, that like the speeches of the Cooperstown Class of 2005, reminds us of the purity, the greatness and the hope of baseball.